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Net Buzz for
04/24/02 by
Steve Knopper
Top of the Net:
GOODBYE:
 With a heavy
heart, buzz on the Net fades from this space, which we have
occupied every weekday, enthusiastically, since September
1998. The sad truth is, the dot-com crash, which we inexplicably
survived through nerve-wracking 2001, finally caught up with us. So,
while Forward of the Day continues for the foreseeable future,
you'll have to go elsewhere for links and goofy headlines.
**Net Buzz began with the Starr Report (which for better or worse turned the
Web into a mainstream medium) and snaked through Columbine, the 2000
election, Sept. 11 and all the Gary Condits, Elian Gonzalezes and "I
KISS YOU!!!!!!!" guys in between.
**I've been lucky: How many freelancers get to
1) write whatever they want every morning; and 2) really get
paid for surfing the Web? Not to mention playing first base for the
Yankees!
**I've compiled Net Buzz in a cramped Boulder,
Colo., hotel closet, as several buddies slept off their hangovers
outside; while jet-lagged and exhausted in Barcelona, Spain; with
tears in my eyes one awful, awful morning when the only news site I
could access said "Plane Crashes Into Building"; and in an Omaha,
Neb., hotel manager's office during my family's move from Chicago to
Denver.
**Net Buzz has come to you from the following
cities: Chicago; Denver; Boulder; Barcelona; Omaha; Las Vegas; New
York; Ft. Wayne, Ind.; Hamilton, Bermuda; San Juan, Puerto Rico;
Magalia, Calif.; Northport, Mich.; Pensacola, Fla.; Austin, Texas;
Seattle; and several others I can't seem to remember.
**Please, drop me a line sometime, at steveknopper@yahoo.com. Or
visit my new webpage (and please be patient while I figure it
out).
Today in Net Buzz History:
EXCUSE THE NAVEL-GAZING -- IT'S NET BUZZ' LAST
DAY!:
In September 1998, Yahoo! Internet
Life Editor-in-Chief Barry Golson approached me with a
vague idea about a daily online page of humor, news and links. It
would have a picture of a coffee cup on the top, he said, and the
tagline would be "Give us a minute, we'll give you the Web." Beyond
that, he said he'd know it when he saw it. I wrote up about five
prototypes, the last one clicked and I passed the audition.
**Barry gave three guidelines: no profanity,
porn or toilet humor; no name-calling; and brevity, brevity,
brevity. Everything else, I ad-libbed. (My brother Doug came
up with "clickophony.") After the first month, I remember Barry
criticizing the column exactly once -- deservedly -- when I couldn't
resist a certain rhyming headline on the occasion of John F. Kennedy
Jr.'s death. Sorry about that.
**Along with Y-Life's Scott
Alexander and Josh Robertson, Barry has been more
supportive of Net Buzz than I could ever expect. Early on, when my
gun-control views were drawing about 25 irate e-mails a day, he
expressed pleasant surprise that I had a political point of view.
"It's just a bonus that you're a Democrat," he said. I owe all three
of these fine editors shots.
Today in Gratitude:
OH (SOB SOB), AND THANKS TO MY LAWYER (SOB SOB):
I'd also like to thank Y-Life's Rob
Bernstein for hooking me up with this gig in the first place and
my old college pal and current fantasy-hoops nemesis Alex
Gordon, whose editorship of the late, lamented Internet
Underground led indirectly to all this glory.
**Thanks also to regular link-suppliers
RJ, Ronnie, Stephen, Kris, John,
and many others, as well as those who were kind enough to include me
on their joke and link lists. On days I had to drag myself out of
bed, e-mailers kept me afloat with their funny, peeved,
and/or supportive reactions. They have absolutely been the best part
of this job.
Today in "Here, Surf For Yourself":
CATCH YOU IN THE NEXT MILLENNIUM:
Truth be told, I've had a sinking feeling for
some months now that Net Buzz's time has come and gone. Who out
there can't follow my daily surfing routine for themselves? And make
up their own goofy headlines? Below are the sites I've checked
regularly, in two intense hours of surfing every morning.
**News: Washington
Post, New York
Times, CNN, ABC, Chicago
Tribune, Los
Angeles Times and MSNBC.
**Tech: ZDNet, Wired and Slashdot.
**Blogs: Plastic; Blogdex, Fark, Itchy Robot, BoingBoing, Metafilter, Drudge Report, Obscure Store,
Fresh Hell
and Popculturejunkmail.
**Magazines: Slate and Salon.
**Media: MediaNews,
Media Bistro
and Inside.
**See? That's how milk is made.
Today in What Now?
TOMORROW MORNING, WE JOIN THE NAVY:
Don't worry about me. (Not that you would.)
I've been a full-time freelance writer for almost seven years -- if
you're bored, you can occasionally catch my stuff in Spin,
Newsday, the Chicago Tribune, Yahoo! Internet
Life (and dig the June Esquire). This "now where
will I get a paycheck?" panic goes with the lifestyle. It just means
I'll spend hours every morning pitching stories rather than
scanning news sites.
**Mrs. Net Buzz and I are expecting our first
child any day now; you can read about it at our new blog/website thingy,
which should (knock wood) be operable today. And if you'll
excuse the indulgence, I'll pass along occasional personal details
in the Forward of the Day space.
Today's Forwarded E-mail:
Net Buzz may be gone, but Forward of
the Day lives on. And on such a solemn day (for us, anyhow),
these Great
Truths About Life seem entirely appropriate. (Thanks to
Joanie the E-mailer.) Please don't stop sending funny
forwards to steveknopper@yahoo.com. And
check us out sometime at Knopps.com, which should work any hour now.
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We saw this incredible photo of golfer Cristie
Kerr while surfing Tuesday morning. We didn't post it
because, well, see the profanity reference above.
But, hell, this is our last day.
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...and other picks from the Y-Life staff:
From Josh: Steve, it's the
end of an era for both of us, and it's been a pleasure.
Godspeed you white freelancer. And for you valued
readers out there, here are some of my favorite sources
--
#!/usr/bin/girl
The
Morning News
What the F***!? (I too will suspend
the profanity and porn rule today -- if you can look
past those two things, you'll find lots of fun links
here)
b3ta
Catch.com (I hesitate to add this one,
as it is my secret weapon in the finding-weird-stuff war
we are constantly waging around here. Short and to the
point, like Fark but I daresay better -- this is the
future of blogging.)
Comments on Clickophony? Sites to
recommend?
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Clickophony regulars include Senior
Staff Editor Scott Alexander, Executive Editor Larry
Smith, Senior Associate Editor Jeremy Caplan, Assistant
Editor Meaghan O'Neill, Associate Photo Editor Mike
Mandel, Online Editor Josh Robertson, and field
correspondent John House | |
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